comedy, political jokes and funny quotes

Political Jokes & Funny Quotes (46): Capitalist Hell and Communist Hell

Karl Marx

Karl Marx

A man dies and goes to hell. There he discovers that he has a choice: he can go to capitalist hell or to communist hell. Naturally, he wants to compare the two, so he goes over to capitalist hell. There outside the door is the devil, who looks a bit like Ronald Reagan. “What’s it like in there?” asks the visitor. “Well,” the devil replies, “in capitalist hell, they flay you alive, then they boil you in oil and then they cut you up into small pieces with sharp knives.”

“That’s terrible!” he gasps. “I’m going to check out communist hell!” He goes over to communist hell, where he discovers a huge queue of people waiting to get in. He waits in line. Eventually he gets to the front and there at the door to communist hell is a little old man who looks a bit like Karl Marx. “I’m still in the free world, Karl,” he says, “and before I come in, I want to know what it’s like in there.”

“In communist hell,” says Marx impatiently, “they flay you alive, then they boil you in oil, and then they cut you up into small pieces with sharp knives.”

“But… but that’s the same as capitalist hell!” protests the visitor, “Why such a long queue?”

“Well,” sighs Marx, “Sometimes we’re out of oil, sometimes we don’t have knives, sometimes no hot water.”

More on communism.

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6 thoughts on “Political Jokes & Funny Quotes (46): Capitalist Hell and Communist Hell

  1. Pingback: Inequality, A Collection of Images « P.A.P. Blog – Human Rights Etc.

  2. Art is anything done well and by well I mean great like corn on the cob cooked to the moment of perfection. TM
    Two cannibals are eating a clown and one of them says, does this taste funny to you.
    How much to pull a tooth, 100 dollars, 100 dollars for a few minutes work, I can do it slower if you like.
    A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but you mean your mother.
    How many radical feminist to change a light bulb? 2, one to screw the bulb and one to suck my dick. (Drew Carry)

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